THE YEARLY TRYST continuation. "But you are dead, don't you see?" she said. There was silence as they stared intently at one another. "Your mother is the only one left who still thinks you are alive. She even frequents a physic. Can you believe it? He even told her, 'I can see him holding hands with an island girl.' I had to keep from laughing but still your mother holds on to you Curtis." "You didn't did you Emma?" "You should have told me the truth." "There wasn't time," he said, almost clamouring at her. "Time? Time is all we have now. I tried to convince your mother that you were dead, but she only became irate, especially now since she drinks a lot. We don't talk much any more because, frankly, I cannot bear it. Why, I think she even blames me for your death! She even told me once that you were fed up with me because I was too domineering, and that was the real reason you left. Did you tell her you were tired of me, Curtis?" "No Emma. I swear it. I told you that I was in a jam and that I cared more for you and Luke. I had to do something." "I know. I know." Curtis tried to hug Emma and to reach out for her affection, but she pulled away almost disgustedly. "Perhaps some things do change after all?" he said rather ruefully. "What did you expect? It's hard doing this year after year, only seeing you for a couple of days in these clandestine meetings, like we are a couple of teenagers sneaking behind our parents' back. Isn't that ironic? I used to do the same years ago, when we first met, because I was afraid to tell father about you because I knew he would not - but that was a long time ago. We can never live normal lives. We can never be able to share our love with others. It's hard, Curtis. Sometimes I wish - " "Wish what? That I would have really died? That would have been easier for you, wouldn't it?" he asked, while staring at her, as she turned to gaze towards the cabin floor and remained silent. "I know it must be hard on you Emma, harder than I ever deemed it would." "You just don't know, Curtis. Things have not worked out as you have planned. I can't keep this up all my life. We can never have a normal life together." "Perhaps you can come more often?" "You know that would raise suspicions. I have a hard enough time explaining why I come on holiday here, year after year. Everyone thinks I am squandering your insurance money now." "About the insurance money - " he asked in a condescending manner. "What about it?" "I am having a difficult time earning money out here. Can you spare me about three hundred pounds?" "Would you like for me to write you a cheque?" "Same Emma. But I need some of that insurance money at least a fourth of it to - " "Not a pound. That money belongs to your son, now. He is the future and we live on a budget just like everyone else." "Come on, at least a fifth of it?" "Nothing - that's final!" "You are a witch," he said as he turned a poured a drink of brandy. "Come Curtis, I didn't come all this way just for you to call me names." "You've changed, Emma." "Can we be honest with each other, Curt?" she said while turning around to gaze through one of the portholes, out upon the darkened moonlit sea where a few remote stars seemed to dangle upon the edge of nothingness. "Of course, Emma, anything." "I can't go on like this year after years, it's - " "You've met someone else, haven't you? I can see it in your eyes," he said catching her quite off-guard. Not knowing how to answer she muttered, "Well there is this Canadian chap who has been - but it is not only that. Your son needs a full-time father, at least someone who can care about him on a daily basis. Someone who can take him to the football matches, someone who will be there for him, when he needs - I can't be a dad to him as well." "I understand," Curtis acquiesced. "It's not like that, Curtis." "You never were one to endure hardships were you?" "Hardship? You call this hardship? Sometimes this is worse than being a real widow but I'm sorry Curtis, really I am," she said sympathetically. "There's nothing to be sorry about really. I should have expected it sooner or later, I guess. I really understand. I don't blame you. There were some things I never considered, or even thought about at the time, things like how people can change. This can be even worse than death. You don't know how I suffer each night, being away from all of you, not to mention away from England, my home, especially during the holidays." "I'm sorry, Curtis." "Does he love you like I loved you?" "It's not the same. It's not like that. He is a Canadian and works in my office. He was just someone who was always there when I needed him," she said apprehensively, while lighting another cigarette. "Like helping you into bed I bet?" She said nothing while protractedly staring at him as she inhaled her cigarette. "I guess all along I knew that these meetings could not satisfy your desires, Emma." "Satisfy my desires? Do you think that that is all it is? It is not like that, Curtis." "I see." "Really, I'm sorry for you." "Why did you even come at all?" "Don't be cruel, Curt. You forget what I'm risking as well, by coming here. What if I were to get caught?" Continuation Copyright reserved. No part(s) of these publications may be reproduced, transmitted, transcribed, stored in a retrieval system, or translated into any language in any form by any means without the written permission of the author.