Copyrights reserved by the author. If you are in doubt, please click on 'Copyrights' and read the details.Weather isn't the only aggravating part of our winter season By J. G. Fabiano We are working our way through another one. In fact, it is the first real one we've had for a long time. The winter of 2007/8, brought back the snows and cold all of us who live in Northern New England have come to both love and despise. Along with the weather of winter comes another famous tradition; cold weather aggravations. The annoyances of cabin fever come in many forms. The name comes from the necessity for all whom live here be forced to stay in their homes in order to stay warm. The days are short and the nights seem endless with below zero wind chills and perpetual humming of our heating systems. Strange things happen to us during this time of year. We become irritated by the most trivial of things. For example, I enjoy little pudding snacks that are sold at most foods stores. I guess this is because I lived on jars of custard pudding baby foods from when I was born until I was a senior in high school. The only problem is you can never tear off the plastic top on each portion. I understand there are arrows showing where one is supposed to pull but the easy open tabs never open. The company must use the same glue they use to keep the space shuttle together. The other day I got so frustrated trying to open my Swiss Miss Tapioca pudding cup I resorted to using my teeth. Needless to say it took a bunch of paper towels and ice to stop the bleeding. I still didn't get the thing opened. Another annoying product is the new cartons of orange juice. In the past they used the type of containers that opened at the top by having one tear up the corner that created a kind of funnel in which you could pour your juice. This system also made it easy to drink out of the carton. I don't do that any more of course. At least this is what I tell my wife. Today's cartons have an opening in the middle covered by a twist off cap. Underneath the cap is a plastic shield that has a little lip on it so it is easy to remove. At least this is what they say. I know they use the same glue the manufacturers of those pudding snacks use. The new cartons make it almost impossible to drink out of the container. I assume it was invented by all the mothers and wives of the world. A cleaners lobby probably supported this system because most of my shirts now have immovable stains all over them. CD's and DVD's are also a problem this time of year. They put a type of plastic around them only the sharpest of razor blades can remove. The manufacturers of these products don't stop here. They also seal the plastic container by taping it together with those little pieces of tape made from a type of material designed by our military to hold bridges together. In order to get to your music or movie one has to literally break the plastic covering in two. The problem does not stop here. After you finally open the container you have to figure out a way to get the disc released from the claws inside the container without snapping the disc in two. Opening a CD or DVD makes me long for the days of the 33 1/3 LP. Products are not the only things that drive us mad during this time of year. During the off-winter months my morning paper was found leaning on my garage door early every morning. Now that my outside yard looks like the Alaskan Tundra my paper can be found anywhere on this side of the Maine / New Hampshire border. During the days of reasonable weather two plastic bags double wrapped my paper. Now during the cold and wintry conditions of our present the paper is simply wrapped in a rubber band. I wonder if the concept of what the plastic bag is supposed to do is foreign to the carriers. During this time of year the telephone becomes the machine from hell. I get at least a dozen calls a night from people trying to make me take a political poll or give money to a candidate I have no idea who he or she is. The classic aggravation comes from some giant computer making calls that hesitate to answer when you reply to your phone. All you hear is a silent void. Then if you have time to zone out a person asks for a person whose name is not even close to how you pronounce your own name. Television is another medium that becomes maddening during this time of year. The football season is over and Saturday and Sunday afternoons has become the domain of ice skating, gymnastics, golf, and other sports I thought became extinct during the Holy Roman Empire. Of course there is always the NBA or NHL but after watching a bunch of spoiled self-gratifying egomaniacs play a sport that was once filled with professional pride I guess ice skating, gymnastics, and golf isn't that bad. So, here we are enjoying the first real winter we have had for a long time. But, things are not all that grim. The pitchers and catchers of our baseball season meet in Florida in a few weeks. Watching a bunch of spoiled self-gratifying egomaniacs playing a sport in short sleeved shirts isn't all that bad. The End.
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