Copyrights reserved by the author. If you are in doubt, please click on 'Copyrights' and read the details.Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it has to be wrong By J. G. Fabiano A few weekends ago I was invited to a gay wedding in Massachusetts. Since we are all living in the twenty-first century this should not have been a big issue. However, because I was born half- way through the twentieth century participating in this type of affair made me feel uncomfortable. I do not consider myself to be homo-phobic. I also will not allow myself to be hypocritical. In other words, I try not to lie to myself. The day went very well. There were no wild parties amongst people dressed in wild and colorful clothes who lived in an immoral world. There was no wild music or dancing that is depicted by movies and television every time they attempt to show what the gay world is like. Instead the home where the wedding took place was elegant and beautiful. The home was in a wooded area on the north shore of Massachusetts that was magnificently landscaped and had multiple art work spread throughout the yard. The music playing in the background was subtle and clear with many people mingling in conversation simply enjoying the concept of talking to people whom they wouldn't ordinarily talk to. When I first walked into the crowd I couldn't tell who was gay and who was straight because the patio was filled with married couples, some holding young babies with others clumped into groups talking about anything that came to mind. The owners of the home turned out to be two elderly gentlemen who were casually dressed and walked throughout the people making sure they were comfortable and knew where the food and bar were. After about an hour on the patio the party was told to walk down a path that led to a secluded beach. The path was clear and well made filled with natural ornaments welcoming all who tread its trail. We all gathered on the beach and became part of a very simple ceremony where two men pledged their love to each other. At that point in my mind I couldn't think of anything that was wrong with what was going on before me. Looking through the crowd I noticed a few pair of men holding hands or holding each other around their waste enjoying a concept they never thought they would be able to enjoy. My comfort level increased because I didn't see any problem with what was going on around me. A thought came to my mind that simply asked, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it has to be wrong. Walking back up to the house after the ceremony I started to think about other instances that made me feel uncomfortable. The first thought to come to mind was the concept of being the only white person in a group of Afro-American people. I smiled to myself because I had no care in thinking myself a white person but being careful to call the Afro-Americans what they wanted to be called. I told this once to a group of people at a party. They all thought I was disgusting. I tried to explain I had nothing against these people but because I would be a minority, a circumstance I rarely find myself in, I would feel uncomfortable. Walking back up to the patio of the house to continue the festivities I wondered why I felt that way. Just because you don't know people or have assumptions of what these people are supposed to be like there is no reason you can't enjoy the difference of what these people represent. In fact, there is probably little difference because we were all brought up with the same ethics and morals. We were all brought up watching the same media and living in the same nation. To be honest, I started to feel a bit disgusted with myself because of the way I felt. In today's world the group of people most misunderstood is Islamic people. Because of 911 an image of people bent on destroying all that is important has been drilled into all of our minds. How stupid is this? A few zealots from a world we don't want to understand decided to take it on themselves to accomplish a horrific act. Does this mean we have to blame an entire religion because of the actions of a few? Like Afro-Americans many Islamic people have been here for generations. What I know about their religion and their Koran is it is based on the same concepts of our own Bible. Before 911 these people represented community and a friendly open spirit. "Time" magazine once represented the Afghan people as being some of the friendliest people in the world who would always welcome a stranger into their homes. I understand we are at war with the zealots. But, we should also understand we are not at war with an entire religion. After the ceremony I became very comfortable with the people who came to enjoy the reception. I didn't care about their sexual orientation and felt a shawl of ignorance fall from my mind. Being a teacher I tell my students to never stop learning. On this particular day I taught myself a valuable lesson. Just because you don't understand some things or some people it doesn't mean they have to be wrong. All it means is there are differences all around us and this is always a good thing. The End.
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