Copyrights reserved by the author. If you are in doubt, please click on 'Copyrights' and read the details.When life runs like clockwork it's time to worry By J. G. Fabiano You can tell a lot about people by the kind of clocks they keep in their homes. The other day I visited a neighbor's home in which can be seen a very large clock hanging in the hallway above the front entrance. This clock is remarkably outsized and takes up the entire wall. The face of the clock is white, the numbers are represented by large black Roman numerals and the arms of the clock look like they were once used by Big Ben in London. This clock is the last thing my neighbors see when they leave the house and the first thing they see when they come home. It explained to me why they are so methodical in everything they do - because their lives run like clockwork. They eat their breakfast, lunch and dinner at exactly the same time. He mows his lawn every Saturday at exactly 10 a.m. and I can tell when summer is about to arrive because he installs his air conditioner on the same day every year at exactly the same time. I can also tell when daylight savings time is about to come into play because both of them get fidgety. The thought of having to change any piece of their routine twice a year puts them on edge. I once asked if I could watch them change their giant clock in order to keep pace with the rest of the world and they stared at me in alarm because I was not included in their schedule. My wife and I are friends with a very artistically minded couple whose home is filled with clocks that look like they belong in a museum in Europe. These clocks are very ornate with clusters of gold leaf and cherubs. Looking closely at these clocks I discovered that they have no numbers to display the time. I wondered if this was because our friends did not want to conceal, however temporarily, the beautifully painted faces of the clocks. The arms of the clock, which are essential to telling the time, were as thin and delicate as to be almost invisible. I assumed this was also not to detract from the overall beauty of the clocks. Another interesting observation about their clocks is that, once you had figured the time out, no two clocks showed the same time. In fact some of them looked as though they had stopped working years before. They were all bright and clean and well kept but the idea of having them tell the correct time was simply not important to these friends. I guess artistic people don't care as much as the rest of us about what time of day it is. The clocks that annoy me the most are those that make a lot of noise. They are almost always owned by people who also make a lot of noise. I assume these people are also hard of hearing because everything associated with them is loud. Even the acoustics of their homes seem designed to amplify noise. As soon as you walk into one of their homes you hear the loud tick-tocking of clocks that sound as if they have speakers attached to them. These clocks also announce their presence with loud chimes every half hour and on the hour. The sound is usually some kitsch refrain that has been altered to sound like it came from a church. I had one friend who had an electronic clock that he programmed to scream out the time every quarter hour like a parrot on steroids. I found it extremely annoying whereas he found it screamingly funny and the more annoying I found it the more amused he was. Needless to say I rarely visit him at home anymore; this may be the true purpose of his clock. I also have some friends who are very interested in their environment. Intermixed with their clocks are posters of The Sierra Club or photos of some of the exotic places of the world that they have visited. Their clocks also display paintings or photos of some rare animal or bird found only in the deepest recesses of the Amazon. The numbers on the clock are depicted by pictures of extinct animals, which is not only depressing but also makes it impossible to tell what time it is. Animal clocks aren't bad except for those that reproduce the sounds of the animals every hour on the hour. Each hour has a different bird or animal that makes a loud and insistent cry which explains why they are now extinct. It also explains why some people have clocks in their homes with arms designed to look like rifles. I have often thought of getting these different groups together for a party then watching what happens. Grandfather clocks, I have noticed, are usually owned by people of a stolid and serious disposition. They are often found in families that represent old money. There is nothing frivolous about these clocks; they are somber pieces of furniture that are meticulously maintained. No matter how old they are the woodwork is shined to a high gloss, the metal face and arms gleam like the bridge of a great ocean liner. The largest of these clocks is usually set in a prominent position that commands attention, much the way a church steeple is always found in the center of town. This is to remind everyone of the gravitas of life and that time is not for wasting. By far I have found the most interesting places to observe clocks are the homes of the elderly. It is not always the type of clocks that interests me, it is the number. Perhaps, because they have lived a very long time the clocks represent the collection of a lifetime. I once counted the number of clocks in my parent's house and it came to 15. They are of every design and make and all display exactly the same time, which means somebody has to go from clock to clock every day, making sure that all are perfectly synchronized. One of the clocks did chime out a few bars of a song every hour but I didn't mind because it was a happy Christmas song that reminded me of happy times. It made me wonder why old people have so many clocks in their homes. Is it because they are running out of time so they want to keep track of every passing hour? I would have thought it would be depressing to be surrounded by clocks, reminding us how relentless is our journey to the grave, but perhaps not. Perhaps it is a reminder of how precious time is that we want to make every second count. One of my quotations about time comes from Jacques Brel: 'The old, old silver clock, hanging on the wall that waits for us all.' The older I get the more I understand exactly what he means. The End.
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