Copyrights reserved by the author. If you are in doubt, please click on 'Copyrights' and read the details.The night I disappointed Mickey Mantle and Whitey Ford by J. G. Fabiano
Sometimes life just doesn't let you sleep. The other night I looked over at my alarm clock and was shocked it read 3:30 am. I knew I was tired but I also knew there were many things on my mind I just couldn't shed off. I just received another delivery of oil and was shocked to see that my heating bills doubled over last year. In fact, many of my bills increased from electricity to water. I know I will survive but having it keep me up at night was something I couldn't control. I then started to think of other times in my life when a good night sleep seemed impossible. The first time I remember not being able to sleep was when I was under ten years old. If there were other times earlier in life my mind long since wiped them away. I clearly remember this because it was the night before a very important baseball game. Back then all baseball games were important but this specific one would decide which team would go to the playoffs and then possibly evolve into being part of the Little League World Series. Of course, even then I knew this was only a dream but back then all I had was dreams. I remember looking up at the ceiling counting the minutes before the sun would finally wipe away the darkness. I turned my head to the right and left staring at posters of Mickey Mantle and Whitey Ford. They had an eerie appearance to them because they were illuminated by a tiny night light that was stuck in an outlet in the corner of my room. My mind swept through hundreds of different scenarios about the events of the upcoming day. I remember smiling when I thought of the home run I would hit to win the game and also remember the sadness I felt when the slightest of mistakes could wipe away the dreams of all of my teammates. I don't remember how the game turned out but I remember the night before when sleep was past my reach. There was another night I was not able to sleep through the night. This one was a bit eerie and it is a night I will never forget. I went to bed at my normal time. I always went to bed at the same time because my parents of the 1950's believed it was important to keep their children on a definite schedule. I ate the same time during the day, was able to watch television only an hour a day, had to complete my chores by a certain point in the day, and had security in the knowledge that tomorrow would be the same as yesterday. I absolutely adored that time in m life. On this specific night I fell asleep like I always did a few minutes after I was tucked in by my parents. Nothing special was going on that day so I assume nothing special was there to keep me awake. But, during the middle of the night, or at least I thought it was the middle of the night because when I was young I never had an alarm clock by my bed, I was awaken by a feeling that someone was sitting on my feet at the end of the bed. At first I was confused. I knew it was late at night so why should someone or something sit at the end of my bed? I think it was the thought of something that put my mind in high gear not because of curiosity but of fear. I always slept with the covers over my head because it gave me an added sense of security. In other circumstances this was comfortable but because of the mystery thrown at me on that particular night I started to smell my own breath and the heat of my own body that made me start to sweat. I knew I had to do something. I could continue to lay there ignoring the 'thing' that was sitting on my feet. This would probably cause suffocation and I would be found dead in a pool of my own sweat the next morning. That is unless the creature sitting at the bottom of my bed decided to eat me first. I could have moved my foot away from the weight that pressed my foot against my bed but that would alert the thing I was awake and more then ready to scare to death. I decided instead not to move even a toe hoping the blood would continue to flow into my foot and not suffer through a cramp that would give away the fact I was awake. At that point I didn't care because cramp or no cramp there was no way I was about to move my foot. Or I could throw the covers off my head, turn around to see who or what would dare to sit on my feet at the bottom of my bed. Did I tell you I was concerned that the ogre sitting at the bottom of my bed could decide to eat me? So there I lay, sweating and shivering, trying not to breathe in fear I would not have to throw the covers off my head because the monster would do it for me. My mind then turned into imagining what the thing was that was sitting on my feet at the bottom of my bed. It had to have been incredibly ugly to only come out at night. I know it was more then a skeleton because what was on my foot was not just bones. It could have been hairy and had massive teeth. It's red, blood filled eyes must have been excited in the thought it could kill a young boy by simply sitting and waiting for him to wake up. I scared myself to sleep that night. In the morning my head was still covered by all the sheets and blankets I had wound around my head in order to not be able to see the thing that sat on my bed. I could smell the acrid scent of my own body that decided to sweat its way through the night. My head was soaked and my pajamas had a crispy feeling to them from the perspiration that had dried during the night. The first thing I did was move my foot that had earlier been pressed into the bed by something I will never know what it was. I did not feel anything holding it down. I moved my foot back and forth at the end of the bed and was convinced that whoever or whatever had been there was gone. I slowly lifted my head from my pillow, turned my head and saw that nothing was there. I looked up at my walls and say the great 'Mick' and 'Whitey' staring down disappointed I did not have the courage to face my fears. I don't know if I felt a sense of relief or a sense of disappointment knowing I would probably never know what had occurred a few hours before. Believe it or not this happened a few more times with the same results. I never could muster up the courage to pull the covers away from my head and to once and for all find out who was sitting on my feet. I also never told anyone about this. I did not want to ask my parents if they sat on the end of my bed in fear it would start a progression of therapists.There have been other instances where my mind ran too fast for it to fall asleep. During my college years there were many times I couldn't fall asleep because of a certain test or paper I was supposed to have done by the next day. I guess it would have been better to have gotten up and completed the work but like the monster that sat at the bottom of my bed it was better to take a wait and see attitude and hopefully have the test or paper simply disappear. Unlike the monster they did not. The older I got the better I slept but every now and then something would come up where I would once again stare up at the ceiling in order to organize my thoughts in order to survive the next day. These thoughts would evolve from a broken relationship, to an upcoming job change, an additional certification, to the purchase of a new car or house, or simply a decision that could only be made during the early morning hours. Sometimes life just doesn't let you sleep. Last night I looked over at my alarm clock and was troubled it read 3:30 am. I knew I was tired but I also knew there were many things on my mind I just couldn't shed off. Last nights worries had to do with why on certain nights I couldn't fall asleep but at least there was nothing sitting on the bottom of my bed. The End.
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