Copyrights reserved by the author. If you are in doubt, please click on 'Copyrights' and read the details.Influenza revisited by J. G. Fabiano We all have a new problem staring down on us before the winter of 2004 makes its inevitable arrival. The problem has something to do with a situation we all face every year. This, of course concerns the ever present threat of influenza, more commonly known as ‘the flu‘. However, this year poses an even greater threat because it is common knowledge there is not enough flu vaccine to go around. This means we will all have to suffer through what in the past we suffered through every time the flu season arrived. The flu shot erased many of these problems but now, with this once-thought solution to the problem gone, we will all once again suffer through the flu. Like every thing else in this world one has to smile a bit through this adversity. This means when I catch the flu this year I will remember the times when getting the flu was not necessarily a bad experience. There is nothing more pathetic than a small child suffering from the flu. The teary eyes and congested breath always bring sympathy to those who dare come close. In fact, as a child, all you had to do to get attention was to yield a little sigh or inhale a tiny sniffle. After that, you were showered with beautiful presents and nourishing, great-tasting foods. Sick days off from school were second only to the Magic Kingdom. Televisions were flashed in front of you with pillows perpetually fluffed to your back. Medicines were given hidden in the best-tasting desserts to be found. If you were forced to go out with your parents, a literal army of compassionate adults would surround you and exclaim how helplessly cute you looked. Most of all, your head was perpetually patted and whole body hugs were given in the hopes that pure love itself would be the cure. But alas, now as a respected 54-year old sick person, the glories of the flu are totally reversed. In fact, the only way I can achieve even the slightest attention is to fall down onto my knees in a coughing fit. After raising a few heads in this fashion I attract requests to: "Quiet down!" and "Who do you think you are fooling." The classic comment is being told to grow up and shut up. Of course, not necessarily in that order. Gone are the many little trinkets that you were showered with in your youth. They are now replaced by questions asking who would fix what needed to be fixed and who were you near that you acquired such a foolish and stupid cold. You are now told to stay away from all food in the house, for even to gaze upon the family's stock would be reason for the disease to spread throughout the entire home. Food is only meant for the healthy and the young. A sickly older person wanting food only shows that he or she isn’t sick at all. Work must be tended to at all costs even though at time of employment you were allotted at least two sick days per year. Everyone knows if you dared to take one too many sick days you become the first in line to take as many sick days as you wanted forever. Why do you think the oldest employees boast of how many years of sick days they have in the bank? I sincerely believe that the only way you withdraw those sick days is to go on a very long-term disability, which could include death. Televisions are meant for the healthy. For how dare anyone who is truly sick come into the family room to watch TV? Any sickly adult who would dare to do such a thing is just hoping to inflict upon his family the very plague that he or she is now faking. Pillows are meant for the healthy head. Anyone above the age of 21 inflicted with the flu is condemned to lie on the extra pillow that was rotting in the upstairs closet only to be brought out for the sickly adult or visiting not-so-favorite aunt. It seems that to touch a sick adult is to touch death itself. You are told to: "Put the fan on!" or "You're in the bathroom again?" "Get away from me and my children", is also a favorite command heard many times by the sickly adult. Also an occasional: "You sex fiend!", is exclaimed. You see a hug asked for by the sick adult immediately defines him as being a "sick" adult. If you think you can go back into your past by visiting your immediate family; forget it. The rules of the game are standard. The sick adult lives under a completely different set of rules than the sick child. The child inflicted with the flue is a pathetic sight. The adult with the same flu is just pathetic. We all have a new problem staring down on us before the winter of 2004, makes its inevitable arrival. The concept of what goes around comes around is once again proven with this lapse of protection of our citizenry. The only problem is we are not as young as we used to be! The End.
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