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Copyrights reserved by the author. If you are in doubt, please click on 'Copyrights' and read the details. A Vegetable by any other name by J. G. Fabiano Right after I removed the pile of doggy doo from the top of my morning paper I noticed something in the air I haven't noticed for the past five months. The air had the smell of spring. It was still cold and dark but it was the first time I could actually smell the dirt. After enjoying the aroma of the morning for a few more seconds I came to the realization that it was now time to start thinking about my garden. This year my neighbor suggested that I grow my vegetable plants from seed. He has a large picture window on his house and he gets many hours of heat and sun during the early spring. I took him up on his suggestion and organized my little part of his nursery. My God, at fifty-one years old I had become a tenement farmer. The next thing I borrowed from him was a 2002 Burpee Seed book. At first I told him that I had a pretty good idea what I wanted to grow but he told me to take a look at this year's catalog so that I could order the exact seeds I needed. This was a task I thought would be easy. Then I opened the catalog and was astounded by what they had to offer. I wonder if anyone realizes that there are 24 different types of beans. I always thought that there were only two types. These being green ones and yellow ones. Looking through the 103-page seed catalog I found Kentucky King Bush beans that was a favorite type of bean to freeze and can with. Since I grow a garden to have fresh vegetables I did not know why anyone would have to buy a specific type of bean to freeze. I always thought those types of beans were found all year long at Shop & Save. Some other types of beans ranged from Blue Lake that was virtually fiber free. I thought one was supposed to have fiber? Tender Pick green beans that were supposed to be flavor packed with curved edges. Are there sharp edged beans? Triumph De Farcy beans that are said to be the classic filet bean. I didn't know beans had bones. There were even beans that were duel purpose that could be used like regular green beans or could be used like lima beans. I know of no one who likes lima beans. I was also wrong about beans only coming in two colors. There were green beans, yellow beans, white beans, and even purple beans. The book said that the Sequoia Purple bean was attractive. I thought it looked dead. After giving myself a headache reading about the different types of beans I turned the page only to see that there were ten types of carrots. These had names like Sweet Treat, Sweet Rocket, Nantes Half Long, Viva La France, Orange Rocket, and Toudo II. I wonder what happened to Toudo I? There was even a yellow carrot that had the name Sweet Sunshine. The book said it was all-new and was sweet and crunchy like celery. I doubt that I could eat a yellow colored piece of celery because I assumed that when it became that color it was time to throw it away. I again quickly turned the page. Did you know that there is a red and purple colored corn? Now I am not talking about a pale or pastel color here. I am describing a deep Red Ruby Queen corn that that retains its gorgeous color boiled, steamed or even microwaved. The Dwarf Blue Jade corn has sapphire-blue kernels that turn jade green when cooked. The catalog also had Silver Queen corn that was white in color. I snickered to myself that I could grow a patriotic garden this year. Then I noticed that they advertised a red, white, and blue corn collection on the following page. Comedy then turned into reality. Cucumbers were something I could never grow in the past. But, now with 20 different varieties that ranged from 12 inch long Big Burpless to 2 inch long Picklebush cucumbers I was sure to find something that could grow somewhere between those lengths. The Armenian cucumber was the oddest of the cucumbers in that it was heavily ribbed and best eaten when it was 24 inches long. Since I didn't want to give my garden an x-rating I decided to leave that variety alone. The catalog also displayed a Palace King variety that was oriental and tolerant to powdery mildew. I didn't know there was such a thing as granular mildew. Did you know that there are 22 different varieties of lettuce? I just got used to the concept that iceberg lettuce was not the only kind of lettuce that existed. The catalog displayed pictures of lettuce that looked more like seaweed. There was Mesclun lettuce that was said to be the French approach to salad greens. The description went on to state that the lettuce was pre-mixed. How does one pre-mix a head of lettuce? The oddest looking lettuce was a variety called Frizz E. It looked like something that grew on old meat and should be thrown away as soon as possible. This was also a fine French endive. My suspicions of anything French grew to new proportions. I spent most of the weekend reading about all the different varieties of vegetables that one had to choose from in order to produce the perfect garden. Did you know that there are 15 different varieties of peas? There are 35 varieties of peppers that range in color from a translucent white to a deep chocolate black. The black one is called a Chocolate pepper but the description did not state that it would taste like a Hershey bar. My biggest shock occurred when I turned the page and found the different types of tomatoes. There are 53 different varieties of tomatoes. I am happy to state that most of them are red but there are a few orange ones and one variety of green. I wonder how one could tell when the green ones become ripe? There was also one extremely odd variety called the Big Rainbow. It looked like a big round piece of cheese. The catalog stated that it produced bright yellow fruits with scarlet red stripes. I was pleased to not find any variety that were blue and had white star shapes in them. It took me half the day to look through the 2002 Burpee Seeds catalog. I didn't organize any order that day because I had little idea of how to start. I thought that maybe I should just wait for the Memorial Day weekend to go out to our local nursery and ask for pre-grown varieties of vegetables I can both pronounce and enjoy eating. The next morning I kicked off the small pile of doggy doo that was near my paper and noticed that on the front page was a picture of a genetically engineered tomato. Or at least I think it was a tomato! The End
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